I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
