OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
