I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
