Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
