You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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