i would punch a child for taco bell
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
