I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
