you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
