Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
