I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
