i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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