I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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