Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
