I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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