He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
