I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We talked him into tasing himself.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
