dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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