he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
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Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
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How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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