I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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