You're so nebulous sometimes
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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