i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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