Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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