Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
