ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
