after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
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Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
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Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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