kristin has been a bad kristin
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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