just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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