Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again

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(480): View more from Arizona

I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.

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(816): View more from Missouri

She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it

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(407): View more from Florida

Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.

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(310): View more from California

It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots

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(269): View more from Michigan

We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.

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(858): View more from California

i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place

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(770): View more from Georgia

This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts

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