I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
