apparently the secret to your success is patron
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
