and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
