Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
As shirtless as possible
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
