i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
