you guys were way drunker than both of me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize