I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
