when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
