so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
