remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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