Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
