the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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