perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
