i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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