As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
vagina is talking i cant
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
