Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
