Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
