i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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