Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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