with your own penis?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
