3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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