question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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