I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
