As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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