just tell him i said nine months
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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