Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
