you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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