dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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