doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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