I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize