I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
