I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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