i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
operation have a gay friend backfired
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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