i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
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im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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