dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
