It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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