If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize